Isn't it disgusting
how some vulgar folks behave,
When they sit down to eat their food?
My father was a baker,
so I'm quite well bre(a)d, you see,
And no one's more particular,
when eating food than me.
To give you information I am able.
On how you should behave
when you're at table.
Never use your fingers
when your eating stew.
Wipe your plate with bread,
just like the "Big Pots" do.
Peas should not be eaten
with your knife, it's true:
Eat them from the saucepan,
like the "Big Pots" do.
Never put both elbows
on the table when you eat.
Leave a bit of room for other folks
to "park" their feet.
Always hold your kipper with one hand,
not two,
And wave it while you're talking
like the "Big Pots" do!
You should all remember
when you're eating your dessert,
That tripe is not a hothouse fruit.
And when you're eating oranges,
Mind where you shoot the pips,
And hold the paper gracefully
when eating fish and chips.
Don't call attention
to your host's carbuncle.
Or mind him of the day
they hanged his uncle.
Never use your fingers
when your eating stew.
Wipe your plate with bread,
just like the "Big Pots" do.
Peas should not be eaten
with your knife, it's true:
Eat them from the saucepan,
like the "Big Pots" do.
Never put both elbows
on the table when you eat.
Leave a bit of room for other folks
to "park" their feet.
Always hold your kipper with one hand,
not two,
And wave it while you're talking
like the "Big Pots" do!